i am bored, this is funny

Posted: January 26, 2005 in Meme, Shenanigans

15 things a man can do at K-Mart…

…while his wife is taking her own sweet time

15. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people’s carts when they aren’t looking.

14. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

13. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

12. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone “Code 3 in Housewares” and see what happens.

11. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on layaway.

10. Move a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

9. Setup a tent in the Camping Department and tell other shoppers you’re sleeping over. Invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”

7. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

6. While handling guns in the Hunting Department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

5. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from “Mission Impossible.”

4. In the Auto Department, practice your “Madonna look” using different sized funnels.

3. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say “PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!”

2. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream “NO!…It’s those voices again!!!”

And last but not least:

1. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while, and then yell loudly “There’s no toilet paper in here!”

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Comments
  1. gifted says:

    Oh that’s classic. I’m tempted to lay-by M&M’s now, for the reaction. 😀

  2. Hah. I work at K-mart, so naturally I have a few things to say..
    “12. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone “Code 3 in Housewares” and see what happens.”
    When you hear, for example, “Sarah Davidson to the Fitting Rooms, Code 3”, it’s just a fancy shmancy way of saying that that’s the third time they’ve had to announce the announcement.
    “7. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.”
    At our K-Mart, the only security camera that actually has a camera in it, is the one at the front of the store.
    That’s right.
    All those black, semi-transparent snowglobe looking things you see in all the departments = duds.
    Cheap bastards.
    “1. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while, and then yell loudly “There’s no toilet paper in here!””
    There’s the most disturbing piss stench in the fitting rooms, so I wouldn’t be surprised if someone actually did “answer nature’s call”.
    Boy, does my job suck some fat ass.

  3. cdoasis says:

    That is just awesome, I should try some of those. Haha.

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