I saw a human pyramid once. It was totally unnecessary.
I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut… I don’t need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don’t need to bring ink and paper into this. I can’t imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, Don’t even act like I didn’t buy a doughnut, I’ve got the documentation right here… It’s in my file at home. …Under “D”.
It’s hard to dance if you just your lost wallet. “Whoa! Where’s my wallet? But, hey this song is funky…”
An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an “Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order” sign, just “Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.”
I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs.
I have a cheese-shredder at home, which is its positive name. They don’t call it by its negative name, which is sponge-ruiner. Because I wanted to clean it, and now I have little bits of sponge that would melt easily over tortilla chips…
Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on. I’m going to have all my clothes made out of blankets.
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap